Infamy, infamy...

The moment Gordon Brown grabbed an aide by the lapels and screamed “they’re all out to get me” must’ve been dead scary for the poor chap getting the hairdryer treatment.

But I can’t help but be reminded of the classic Kenneth Williams line in Carry on Cleo –
“Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me!”

But of all the bumph in today’s Observer my favourite part without a doubt was how Brown used to prepare for PMQs.

Apparently his team ran through how things might go, with Ed Miliband normally playing David Cameron.

I imagine…

GB: Right let’s play this through. I’ll be me. Harriet, you be Alistair. Alistair, you be Ed. Ed, you be Harriet, and other Ed, you be Cameron.

EM: What? Why do I have to be Cameron again? I always end up as Cameron. I can’t get the voice right and it means I always have to lose. Can’t I be you for once?

GB: Eh? Of course you can’t be me. I’m me.

EM: But Harriet’s Harriet, and she’s still Alistair. In fact what about Harriet – I could be a good Harriet, I’ll even put on some mascara.

GB: No, your voice is too soft and besides, Ed’s already got his Harriet wig on. Look, you’re Cameron and that’s just the way it is.

Right here we go [clears throat] – they want to cut, we want to invest, they were wrong on the recession and they’re wrong on the recovery.

EM: [in Cameron mode] Well, I have a leaked document here which shows the Department of Energy and Climate Change is having to make a 10% cut in its budget – this proves this Government is….

GB: Stop! Ed, what are you doing?

EM: Debating, it’s PMQs.

GB: But what’s all this about a leaked document, There are no leaked documents.

EM: There could be.

GB: Oh really. Who leaked them then?

EM: Maybe I did. I mean, maybe Ed Miliband did.

GB: I see, and what documents were these exactly?

EM: You’ll have to ask Ed Miliband.

GB: [grabs Miliband by the lapels]

Mrs Lobbydog is calling me for dinner, but just before I sign out let me remind you of this other line from Carry on Cleo, which feels pertinent having read about Jack Straw in the Observer piece.

It is spoken by Caesar as his bodyguards try to assassinate him: “I don't want to die! I may not be a very good live emperor but I'd be a worse one dead!”

See you in the morning.