To the hills...

Labour rebel he may be, but Nottingham South MP Alan Simpson is not a militant.

At least I didn't think so until recently when he mentioned what happened to some eager journalists who followed him out to Italy last year.

The hacks went sniffing around for a tale about how the left-winger was living it up in his decadent holiday home - they were misguided as his flat is only a modest thing for him and his small family.

Two hacks, claiming to be friends of the city MP, went to a local cafe to ask the owner where their target lived.

The wise old Italian, wondering why friends of Simpson didn't know his address, sent them off to a random location in the country side.

When reporting the incident to the MP later the owner said: "It's ok. We treated them just like we did the Nazis. We sent them into the hills."

He added: "Of course we actually killed the Nazis."

I'm assured the hacks returned alive.