Friday, 16 April 2010

Manifesto Pledge of the Day

The Monster Raving Loony Party’s Manifesto: Pledge 17

It is proposed to systematically destroy all wire coat hangers.

Shirts slip off them. People hang them on door handles. They bend when you hang jeans on them. They flick off rails. They join together in pairs. They gaggle in dodgy, tinny, wiry orgies, tingling nastily. They have a static sneer. Have you ever actually seen anybody buy them? Who even sells them? Do they just appear in your wardrobes? They seem to have a near endless domestic omnipresence.

Not only a waste of wire, but a waste of time. How often have you had to re-hang things on them? Or perhaps Re-iron shirts after being bent ruthlessly shapeless thereon? Then they spin of the rail and onto the floor. You kick them and then get wrapped around your foot, or sibling. And then if you can find a bin that will fit such a stupidly angular object, the sadistic little sharp corner on the hook rips the bag and there it is again, escaped. What a malicious little sod.
Let's face it, the only use for metal coat hangers is to unravel them and make them into something else.
Therefore, it is proposed that all wire coat hangers should be systematically hung, drawn and unravelled, under the 1936 Public Order Act.

4 comments:

lenko said...

Never has LobbyDog been more prescient. For years now, the things have been lying quietly in wait, biding their time, until an unsuspecting humanity have their collective throats ripped out.

As I posted last year at http://dailymoaner.com/?p=49 we must be on our guard against the War upon Things.

The coat hanger pictured upon both of our blogs is, I believe, the ring-leader.

alanadale said...

If I had a MRLP candidate they would have my vote for this policy alone.

Do they have a view on Venetian blinds or three-quarter trousers for men?

Richard T said...

If they said the same thing about chair cushions they'd be up for my vote too.

lenko said...

Oh now chair cushions ARE a girlie thing, aren't they? Every bloke I know immediately pitches these things on the carpet. Is this comment sexist? I do hope so.

Has the MRLP died with Screaming Lord Sutch? Can't we get it going again? I would vote for anyone who promised to abolish Simon Cowell.

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